Crazy

Hi moxie,
I need help to stop this guy's craziness. Please scroll this email down and reading from the bottom. I met this guy last thursday. Went out with him on sat. To Brooklyn museum. I called it an early night on sat after dinner. He called me right after I got off subway and persistantly asking me if I want to hangout more that night, I clearly told him I was tired, he then said what about Sunday. I told him I was busy...anyway, there r some behavior of me that night freaked me out so I decided to tell him what I felt and sent him an email on the same night...and below r his reactions...help!!!

(READ FROM THE BOTTOM UP)
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From: Joe Blow <artxxxxxxxx@gmail.com>
Date: May 12, 2008 6:08:16 PM EDT
To: Kat <kxxxxxxxx8@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: this email

Generally, when I'm on a date I like to share the expenses EQUALLY.  Ever thought of that?  Having things be equal in a relationship...what a thought...

How long are you going to continue to act like this?  Don't you feel your clock ticking?  You WILL die alone if you continue this game.

You are more than welcome to share this dialogue with your next victim. 

Move back to Taiwan.  You really don't belong here.  Find some grown Taiwanese boy who collects children's toys to chauffer you around Taipei. 

Nothing I said was angry either.  You are not the first woman I have come into contact with...not the first Taiwanese woman for that matter.  I know the games.  I KNOW you want someone with money.  It's obvious.  Your comment about paying proves how concerned you are about money.  I'm secure enough to be able to make objective judgements about the people around me.  Your presence or non-presence in my life has no impact on my emotional state.

You're arrogant, selfish and aloof.  You are certain of your own superiority.  In your mind you are always right. 
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From: kxxxxxxxx8@gmail.com
To: artxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
Subject: Re: this email
Date: Sun, 11 May 2008 11:01:34 -0400

Bravo!!! U just proved how insecure u r! U don't send out an angry email just because someone is not interested in u....that's very immature! I didnt judge u, just didn't find any connection.... And I thank u for ur comments about me as I could care less about what u think. Just one suggestion for u tho...don't even go on a date if u can't afford to pay!!!(u don't need to b a sugar daddy to afford) good luck to u and please I really don't want to see another angry email. Grow up!!
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On May 11, 2008, at 10:36 AM, Joe Blow <artxxxxxxxx@gmail.com> wrote:

I'm not sure why you agreed to meet me given your opinion.  But if you want to communicate about it great:

You're starting to show your age.  You really seem to be out of touch culturally. Outside of your MBA I have to question any educational experiences you may have had.  Your taste in clothing is very "Jersey Club Girl."  You are full of yourself, conceited and seem content with the way people and things seem on the surface.  Your stories of past relationships tells me you lack the ability to discern quality and substance in men.  I think you are very materialistic and put a priority on a person's income level rather than what their personality may be like.  You're arrogant.  You've been in New York seven years and couldn't find your way to the Brooklyn Museum.  Personally I think it is rude to use your cellphone when you are on a date with someone else.  Chai is tea, which is only served in caffinated form.  I fail to understand why someone who is lactose intolerant decided to order such a dairy heavy beverage.  Iron Man is a dumb summer blockbuster full of robots and explosions.  It is a proven formula designed to make the production studio some quick cash.  To be quite honest, a sugar daddy may be your best option for a relationship.  Other than that: buy a dog.

Joe Blow
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From: kxxxxxxxx8@gmail.com
To: artxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
Subject: Re: this email
Date: Sun, 11 May 2008 02:11:41 -0400

Cant sleep... I think that decaf wasn't really decaf...anyway, just want to let u know that it was fun hanging out with u....., but I really dont want to mislead u in anyway....u r nice just not my type of guy....and I don't find any connection whether emotionally or physically btw us.... Sorry. Really don't want to waste ur time.
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On May 10, 2008, at 12:52 AM, Joe Blow <artxxxxxxxx@gmail.com> wrote:

See you tomorrow.  :)

YOUR THOUGHTS?

Comments

[KingBob]

Well the guy is a jerk but why in the world did you write him back and egg him on? That's just going to turn him into a stalker. I hope you don't have to run into him anywhere you frequent. If there are any more e-mails, read them to make sure there are no threats but whatever you do, DON'T RESPOND!

[ugh]

Is anyone else as bothered as I am by the usage of "r" and "u" and "ur" as words. Does it take that much effort to type out the other two or three letters to complete a word and not look like an uneducated fool?? Granted he may have been jerky, but you did egg him on by constantly replying to his emails instead of ignoring him and at least he can write properly.

[hb]

He's just crazy. Don't egg him on and write back. Can't you just block his addres and be done with it?

[MoxieReader]

This horrible experience is the applied answer to alot of date questions posted to this site. Questions such as:

- "Why do guys/girls say they will call back but never do?"
- "Why can't guy/gal be up front and admit they aren't interested".
- "Why won't guy/gal tell me why they are breaking up"

The reason? People get bitter. Some go pyscho. The truth is hard to handle. Therefore, the truth must be evaded with content free comments like "Its not you, its me", "My phone number is ", and "You are stunningly gorgeous, I'm just not ready for a relationship at this time".

[VJ]

Umm besides some cheap voyeuristic fun, this is plenty depressing on too many different levels. But again, the truth is sometimes your friend here. 'You're a creep and I don't like you or ant you to contact me again" should suffice. So would never answering his calls or texts again. As it is, you're right in line for yet another miserable date possibly. Try to escape before the engagement, right? Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'

[sarah]

I would go for blocking his email address. And let the fact that you let the idiot get the last say slowly eat away at you! Or maybe email the link to this page and then block his address.

[Michael]

Kat, you KNOW you should never respond to him again...so why even bother having a random blogger post all this, other than to further humiliate the guy?

Yes, he's crazy and full of himself. But you clearly have a lot to learn here too. I hope you do.

[trouble]

How old are you, fourteen? God, this looks like some middle school myspace war. Except at least my 14-year-old daughter knows better than to keep provoking the crazy in someone.

Stop fucking replying. Block his e-mail. Get over your damn self. You LOVE this freaking drama.

[trouble]

p.s. I think his first response to you is probably right. And, it made me laugh.

[Mira]

Hahaha... this e-mail post is a morning comedy... cracked me up.

I am with trouble here.
OP is as immature as they come, she's got problems to even want to post this out in public.
Nothing short of an embarrassment to herself for sure.

Happi morn.

[daisy]

His first response to you seems right on the money. It almost feels like you're putting this out there because you want validation that he's crazy and you're not. Sounds like you are pretty immature, though. Might want to check that.

As far as advice, for God's sake don't write him back and egg him on. Sheesh. Is it so important for you to have the last word?

[Jules]

I thought your initial email letting him down was a bit insensitive. You could have been more polite, maybe saying "it was a pleasure meeting you but I didn't feel that necessary click to move forward." But saying that you didn't connect with him physically insulted him and he attacked back. We all know that he was really interested in you, otherwise he wouldn't have been so persistent about making plans right away. So he's just licking his wounds.

Stop feeding into the drama and don't respond anymore. In fact, you shouldn't have responded when he went off on you.

Finally, you have an MBA and obviously know how to spell. Using "u" and "btw" is immature and for high school kids.

[Jules]

I typed that too fast and didn't spell check.:) It should be "a MBA" and not "an MBA." If I was going to criticize someone else's spelling, the least I could do is be grammatically correct myself!

[isa.how]

I agree with Jules. I winched when I read your initial email of non-interest to the guy. Telling someone that there is no 'physical' attraction is a major diss. It almost seems that you were pissed with him and wanted to hurt him in your first email.

Block his email. NOW!

[Hi-Yah!]

What the hell's wrong with you? Quit writing to him and delete his emails without reading them if he does continue to send them...sheez!

He may be crazy, but you're proving yourself to be just as crazy by even bothering to respond to his idiotic behavior!

[Kegs]

Clearly, the guy is crazy and you should NOT be responding to him, you should not have sent that one email back.

But, we are missing a large chunk of the conversation that happened before the emails. What drove him to this. He talks about your comment about paying - did he ask you to split the bill for dinner and you told him you think that's a mans job to pay or something? What you said and how you said it could have contributed to his reaction. Not that it justfied his whole rant, as I said above, that is psyco behaviour and it does show exactly why I am in favor of the 'fade out'.

And I agree with the others who say you should spell words out in full in emails. Save 'u' for text messages, when you don't want to go over the 150 characters!

[Jaclyn]

Yes, this guy is crazy. But to try to reduce the amount of times you will deal with this in the future try to consider a few things:

1. Some men do not take rejection very well (the same thing goes for some women). As others have noted, you need to phrase your email rejection very tactfully. If you genuinely like and respect a person, but did not feel that there was much chemistry there, you might want to send him an email that says, "I had a wonderful time meeting you, and I am sure that you will soon meet a lovely woman who will really appreciate all of your fine qualities, but I did not feel that elusive spark that is needed to move this relationship forward." Also, you only went out with this guy once. One date does not require or call for a long list of reasons why you are not interested since some guys are just shy or nervous and make poor first impressions.

2. You need to gently ease a guy into the idea that you were not interested. That means waiting a couple of days before responding to a request for a second date so that he has time to ease into the idea that you might not be interested (and if he is dating online, he will have the opportunity to meet other women in the interim that will help ease his feelings).

3. Be on the lookout that a guy might be potentially dangerous or unstable. At the first sign of that, you need to cease all communication immediately and not inflame the situation. Don't try to explain or justify your positions once you realize he is crazy or an asshole (and his first email to you was a sign that he could be both) - just end all communication with the guy. There are plenty of guys out there who probably think that I'm a bitch (the guy who called me 17 times in the three hours after I gave him my number, the guy who wanted me to write an essay explaining my feelings about money since he decided to pursue a career in a nonprofit field instead of practicing law after inheriting money from his family, and the guy who wanted to know on our first date if I would have an abortion if I got pregnant) . Yes, I'm sure that all of these fine men think I am a total bitch for rejecting them and I couldn't care less. You will not be able to convince crazy people that they are wrong, and you need to stop arguing with them. If you date, it is inevitable that you will have to reject some people, and some of them will be very disappointed and unhappy.

[amen]

This is the most entertaining post I've read so far. Let's keep it funny! I'm tired of reading the depressing posts about sex, relationships and people being hurt.

You're both crazy! You would make a great couple!

To rid ourselves of lowlife assholes and entitled psycho bitches, we don't tolerate them, we walk away from them. If we all started doing that they would have to stop in their tracks.

You're both feeding into each other's bad behavior.

[Craig]

Personally, I think this chick had it coming. That said, his dude would have been best advised to be a man about it and bow out gracefully with some dignity. But I do think he hit a nerve by touching upon a few truths with some of his comments, so that's what drew her into into this dialogue. There was no need to tell him there was no physical attraction. That was hurtful. I'm pretty sure no one here would like to hear that said to them. Futhermore, what was with the comment:

"Just one suggestion for u tho...don't even go on a date if u can't afford to pay!!!(u don't need to b a sugar daddy to afford)"

If she knew she didn't "find any connection whether emotionally or physically" with him from the get-go, why did she still feel entitled to have him pay for her? A lady would not have taken advantage of him and would insist on going dutch with a guy she has no romantic intentions towards. Sorry, but this chick sounds like a dinner whore to me. In which case, she got exactly what she deserved.

(As an aside, unless you're Prince or under the age of 18, do yourself a favor and spell out the word "you" properly)

[A Tree in the Forest]

I think your attempt to let this guy down easy was the polite thing to do rather than just fading out. It probably would have worked if instead of saying "...u r nice just not my type of guy....and I don't find any connection whether emotionally or physically btw us..." you had left it at "u r nice but I just didn't feel a connection". It's obvious he retaliated because his feelings were hurt, but that doesn't excuse his being a jerk about it. That said, learn what you can about yourself from his observations, forget this guy, and move on. Good luck. :)

[Justus]

These two deserve each other. Their immaturity is only surpassed by their imbecility.

[Frances]

Kat, his e-mails show that he is not a typical gentleman. If he is true and sincere about you, he wouldn't mind paying the bills for your date. One thing nice was that you easily discovered that he's not meant for you.

Well, you avoid this guy. It's better to spend time by yourself or you can do a hobby to forget him. Don't waste your time replying his e-mails. Don't read his e-mails or reply to any e-mails. You better cut off your communication. Ok? You date other guys and be happy!

Enjoy life to the fullest. Forget him, there's a lot of guys out there who will love you better...

[Maya]

Stop emailing him and block his address. In the future, don't ever get involved in an exchange like this. If you are not interested in someone and want to tell them, simply say "It was great meeting you but I don't think we are a match. Good luck with your search!" Don't ever say there was no physical connection/attraction (even if it's true.) It's unnecessary info and is hurtful to the other person (I speak from experience). That doesn't mean someone should be rude. So if they are, just delete, block, and move on. Simple.

[rick]

Don't respond to emails in the first place, obviously. But I wanted to write specificlly to chastise you for your use of "R" for are. as in "anyway, there r some behavior of me that night freaked me out so I decided to tell him what I felt and sent him an email on the same night". there "r"? there was? there r some behavior of me? did you send this to Moxie by text message? do you know the difference between present and past tense? there was some behavior of his, maybe?

Just how low is the bar going to go as far as use of the English Language? let's starts with using words when they are supposed to be use instead of one letter that is not a word!!!

[Quirky]

The guy is passive-aggressive psycho. He's puts her down yet is still asking to get together. I know sometimes it is tempting to want to have the last word, but it's not worth it, especially with a guy this crazy. And I agree, if she wasn't feeling him, she should have paid her own way. Not need to anger him any more by pointing out his faults whether real or imagined. Just ignore him, and if he keeps writing, you may want to keep his messages to show the police later.

[eternalOptimist]

why is this even a question? people please get some good questions so mox doesn't have to resort to this idiocy. It's a non-issue not worthy of discussion

[kat]

First I thank you all for your comments. Origianlly I wanted to hear advice from Moxie as I've been a loyal reader and I agreed with her comments so I emailed her. Then she sugguested if I want to publish it to get what other people think. Anyways, I learned my lesson. I wish I could've rephrased my words better on my first email. I thought what I wrote was pretty polite. Anyways, I used to do 'fade out' if I'm not interested in seeing that person again. But then I ran into some of them a few months later, they all told me it'd be nice if I had told them the truth instead of just disappeared! So this is actually my very first time of emailing someone and telling someone that I'm not intereted. I know I was being too straight forward, but I didn't judge him. I was confused when I got his first reponse as all compliments and likings all became dislikable after I blew him off. There're things I think people shouldn't say to hurt people. He was doing a nasty personal attach so I panic and furious. I do regret replying to his first email. Also sorry about the 'r''u' 'ur', been too used to text messages. I find that a bit annoying too after I read it here. As for the expense, I paid for my own ticket to the museum as I felt like I just wanted to get to know him better (didn't really think it was a date), then we went to grab a bite to eat in the neighborhood, when the bill came, he turned it towards me so I can see the amount, so I split the bill which is fine with me. My confusion is on my rejection email, I didn't mention anything financially, how could he sugguests me to get a sugar daddy or else buy a dog. Where in the world did that come from unless he's very insecure and concious about his status. Anyway, thanks to gmail, I suceedly filtered him out.

[Gregory A Butler]

I didn't see a damned thing "crazy" about Joe Blow's email.

Brutally honest - YES.

Nailed you for the kind of woman you are - YES.

Less than diplomatic - YES.

But crazy???

Sorry, can't see it!

Incidentally, why did you have such a hard time finding the Brooklyn Museum?

It's an extremely large building that has IT'S OWN SUBWAY STATION (2,3,4 or 5 to ...."Brooklyn Museum/Eastern Parkway").

[VD Joe]

Kat, the "hard to get" act only works for so long. If you keep this up you're going to discourage the guy.

Go get a Brazilian, then schedule a time to meet to “give him a piece of your mind”. Nature will take its course from there.

[It's Just That Simple]

Obviously this guy's got some issues, but I think we've all gone crazy at least once in our lives. Dating is difficult, and it can make a good guy feel pretty bitter enough when being rejected by girl after girl, who seem to be only looking for one type of guy that he'll never be, but at the same time he has to keep trying, continually face rejection, and feel used for his money.

As far as the woman in this case, she's of the typical entitled mentality. Women who get asked out without having to take risks should be grateful, and should learn how to be kind to the men they date. Some good men simply give up because of how poorly they are treated by women, and guys continue to pamper these girls because it's the price of admission.

[Roxy]

You should never have responded to his email. By doing so you egged him on and then you wanted to have the last word.

You don't need help from moxie. You just need to let the hurt dish out their hurt and NOT REPLY.

[Moxie]

"I didn't see a damned thing "crazy" about Joe Blow's email."

Here's what's crazy about it.

In his original e-mail he was all flirty and sweet because he was interested in her. Then, when she tells him she's not interested, he suddenly spews all these faults and criticisms. That's crazy. I think, in actual clinical terms, it's called narcissistic rage.

Additionally, as much as I hate the whole "r" and "u" thing, when text messaging you kind of have to abbreviate because most plans charge per message. Spelling everything out would probably create longer/additional texts.

Also, there was nothing entitled about this woman. Immature? Yes. But if you haven't figured it out, there's an obvious language barrier at work. Another challenge that makes the exchanges sound more ridiculous than intended.

The minute she got that e-mail she should have deleted it. Yes, of course. But the guy is clearly psychotic and been dumped a lot. Hence why he sounds so angry.

[Ed]

I think you're both crazy. Just move on. Simply ignore him if he emails you again.

By the way, talking on a cell phone during a date is rude.

[OhRick]

In praise of older women!

One of the blessings of maturity… is to not have to personally endure encounters like these. The avoidance of which, requires only a modest level of pre-qualifying communication, at best.

She could possess the combined knowledge of a thousand courtesans, and contort like a Chinese acrobat… but with a few emails, such as the ones witnessed here… my mind-body connection would be in constant turmoil and conflict, saved only with the targeted application of a roll of duct tape.

Perhaps, if Joe Blow had invested more time in communicating with his China Doll, he would have had a better understanding of her thought processes, and planned accordingly?

(Though, you both are poster-children for what not to do!)

Unless you're a man who can visually inspire, immediate bubbling moisture, in a woman's southern hemisphere… then you'll have to approach through the ears and other senses. Having her at "Hello" is the province of a select few. For the rest of us, we have to work at it.

No doubt, there are some script details missing, in order to spin this scenario to the Formosans favor. Still, the immaturity of it all, was the most obvious revulsion of our little drama.

As for Joe Blow (...and to further kick a dead horse)

["Generally, when I'm on a date I like to share the expenses EQUALLY. Ever thought of that? Having things be equal in a relationship...what a thought..."]

Date much?

Equality? There will never be full equality? Joe… she has that, which you covet! (The scales of justice are as tipped as her cervix!) It's why you asked her out, in the first place? So, unless she's giving out free samples… the onus is upon you to obtain access to the Temple of Doom. The whole dating ritual is at the pleasure of women. (Choose activities you can afford and will personally enjoy, no matter how the evening turns-out?)

Most women believe they have the Magic Vagina. It's up to you to create the curiosity that you might possess the Magic Wand to pull the rabbit out of the hat... instead of her nightstand, when you leave?

How about, if you man-up and communicate your rules-of-engagement in advance? If you expect/require your guest to contribute financially to the evenings festivities... say so! (Fire a rocket… give her a clue!) Provide her the opportunity to accept or decline, based on having all the facts. Making assumptions plays havoc with impressions. So much better to clarify in advance.

Personally, I don't want my guest to have to worry about making a last minute stop at the ATM, to have a quick-forty on them to offer a little check-arrival theatre. If you are my guest - no matter my ulterior motives - you are my guest! There are many phrases to make that clear for your invitee, and without being too obvious or crass about it. "Be my guest" being the easiest and most obvious to understand.

Use your words, Joe!

If a woman (Surprisingly) enjoys your company, she will make an effort to return the favor (in some fashion) within her means. Though most men would be willing to forgo the reciprocal dating formalities to hear, or read...

"Come over... NOW!" (And other welcome variations of that theme.)

I may be outdated, but I never suffer for lack of dates.

Besides, when a woman ask you out… it's usually with the same purpose in mind as you had when you first asked her!

Women are smarter… they tend to invest more in a sure thing!

[J]

Did you really need "help" figuring this out? We all get angry when dumped, especially if we thought there was a connection. He wrote the letter most "normal" people are dying to write just to get rid of the hurt feeling, but we resist the urge and act like adults. Instead, you took his childish response (which by the way seemed like something a woman would do and I am a woman)and you compounded the issue by acting equally childish. Really, why would any secure person who was not interested in the guy in the first place even respond to that? Grow up! And yes, you should not talk on the phone during a date. At least step away to the ladies room if you cannot resist the urge.

[Franco]

Dear kxxxxxxxx

Do not email him back. If he calls, send him to voice mail, then delete them without listening to them. Any response will simply prolong an unproductive exchange.

If you run into him in public, be friendly, and be the first to end the interaction.

You are responsible for your behavior and he's responsible for his. Don't let his anger turn you into a person you don't want to be.

My humble suggestion would be to forget about this entire exchange and spend the your energy finding someone you connect with emotionally and physically, and maybe can fall in love with.

About cell phones: They are a fact of life. If you get a call during a social event and you have to take it, excuse yourself before answering, keep it short, and apologize afterwards. I will often say something like "Hey___ I've got to go. I'm with a friend and I'm being rude. We can talk later." then I'll hang up, look my date in the eye and say "Sorry about that." Usually I'll turn my phone off at that point, and focus on having fun with her. That's why we're there.

About paying: Regardless of who pays or how you feel about it, making a big deal about it is bad taste.

Most of the girls I date at least offer to pay. To my surprise, many have offered to buy the dinner or drinks outright. I find it flattering, and a sign of independence and character. But then again, I've been lucky in dating.
Either way, if being financially taken care of is a deal breaker for you, it's totally OK. You just need to screen for guys who enjoy taking care of women financially. They are out there.

If someone invites you to dinner, maybe suggest drinks first. During conversation, let him know you like to feel taken care of. See how he reacts. There's someone out there for everyone.

Good luck.

[sk4976]

Did you really talk about your past relationships on a first date? Who the hell cares who pays the first time? Maybe more than you insulting someone else, and acting like you are better, just because you have some piece of paper shows youre true class, lady. You know what though. He did write what he did to be spiteful, because you rejected him. Dont know why men get like that. God only knows I've been there done that. Your proof is, Im sure if you said, ok ill meet again, he wouldnt have cared about anything he complained about.

However take this advice, never talk about old past relationships on a first date. its not nice. And Dont use your phone, or even text anyone. thats worse.

[the critic]

The girl seems like a ditz, but the guy seems dopey. I would be pissed though if some girl told me "there is no physical connection" - well, if you're not attracted to him why did you go out with him in the first place? I guess I understand, I've asked women out who, on the first date I was like "what was I thinking?" -but either way all you have to say is "I don't think it's going to work out. We don't seem to have a lot in common." - Something along those lines. Be discreet - don't add insult to injury. If I told one of the women in question "you have a freakishly large farhead" I don't think it would have been the right thing to do.

[My 2¢]

wow! why are so many of the responders being so hard on kat?? it seems to me that her only mistakes were:
1) responding to a psycho
2) giving the guy a chance to prove that even though she did not find him physically attractive, he may win her over in other ways... she realizes now that she should not have mentioned the physical thing, but she also said that there was no emotional connection.

chin up, girl. you've learned from your errors. and at least you found out sooner than later that he's not worth your time. don't waste any more of it by giving him another thought.

[Lily]

Your first email might have been a little blunt but it was fine. You were honest. To his reply, you should have said "That's nice. Take care." and ignored anything else he said from then on. This guy is wicked immature, and it's pretty typical for them to lash out like that when rejected. The fact that you felt it necessary to defend yourself shows that you must be a little insecure as well. Just hold your chin up and walk away, and learn to recognize when continuing a conversation serves no purpose.

[My 2¢]

sorry, i just have to add 2 things:

-i hadn't seen "OhRick's" response when i posted mine. bravo! i love it!! and what a wordsmith...

-yes, non-emergency cell use during a date is terribly rude. so that's mistake #3. another learning experience, kat.

[KSR]

Another red flag emitting from this guy is the inappropriate amount of pursuit he was giving her only a few days after meeting.

They meet on Thurs, go out Sat, she says she's tired, he's contacting her again that night and assuming he'll see her on Sunday. That screams "I have no life/balance and I am prepared to make someone a just met the center of my universe."

Not to play arm chair psychologist, but that clearly was turning her off. And, in addition to the language barrier, it probably added to her coming off a little harsh in her "thanks, but no thanks" communication.

I think as Moxie has said, he probably gets dumped a lot, and with this level of vigor, hence his nasty responses.

[the critic]

"wow! why are so many of the responders being so hard on kat?? " -
Well, quite simply, she just seems like a little princess. Believe me guys have all dated the tedious and needy chick who is so intent on proving how special she is by needing to talk on the phone and needing to talk about past relationships - all to prove how she has really very little interest in being there. Man I could tell you stories - these chicks, the nicer you are to them the more they will treat you like pond scum. It's so transparent and inconsiderate, but it seems in our society it is entirely acceptable (for some women) to act like princesses; in fact it is openly encouraged. Which is why she posted this here - to affirm to everyone how infinitely desirable she is - to the point that she drives men into fits of rage when she rejects them.

Someone acting like they don't care what people think when deep down they have an infinite and never-ending need to draw attention to themselves is so pathetic, and easily illicit strong feelings of disgust in people who have been subjected to it. Mostly you hate yourself for allowing yourself to be taken in.

You think she's not tickled pink that she was able to inspire such a strong reaction in this hapless moke? Seriously, people who still throw around words like "immature" at age 20- or 30-something are often pot calling kettle black. He may be a dumbass himself, but I'm with Joe Blow: Maybe she should go back to Taiwan, or at learn to stop acting like a little princess.

[A.K.]

What is this "move/go back to Taiwan" nonsense? First, "the critic" says there're plenty of "little princess types" here in the States. By the crazy guy and the critic's logic, wouldn't the girl very much belong here then? It sounds like bitter experiences being projected onto someone you don't know. I was all set on giving the guy the benefit of the doubt even when he went ridiculously accountant-like about every nitty gritty flaws she might have committed during the date--until that statement. Way to show your dumb sense of American superiority.

[Are you on Crack??]

Personally Kat, I think you should e-mail this guy back and give him another shot. It's so obvious that his hate-filled, overly bitter e-mail back to you was really him trying to say he likes you. He probably is a real tiger in bed too. Ohhhhh....just imagine......then e-mail him, copy and paste to this post, and copy and paste any new e-mails back and forth between you for the rest of us to read and enjoy! You make me smile!

[Moxie]

"Well, quite simply, she just seems like a little princess. "

Look up the word Projection in the dictionary. Why is it this woman's fault that you attracted and tolerated so many of these so-called "princess" types?
The fucked up thing is that you allowed yourself to ignore some of these women's obvious flaws because they were attractive. Why are you projecting all your bullshit on this woman when the very obvious reason why you've been burned so much is because you allowed yourself to be?

This jag off is unstable and probably does the same thing over and over , refusing to acknowledge that the reason why women probably blow him off is because he's cloying and needy.

"Man I could tell you stories - these chicks, the nicer you are to them the more they will treat you like pond scum. It's so transparent and inconsiderate, but it seems in our society it is entirely acceptable (for some women) to act like princesses"

To them? So...you dated women like this more than once then? So..who's to blame for that? The women for being annoying and needy or you for probably knowing they were annoying and needy but not caring because they were attractive? If you can spot this so easily..then how come you dated so many women like this?

Right. The women are the bad guys. Boo fucking hooooooooooooooooooooo for you.

[amen]

Okay we can do without the China Doll, go back to Taiwan comments and the whole language barrier assumption.

Yes, there are entitled princesses and asshole guys,if we all left them behind, this would leave them with one another. They can kill each other to their hearts content.

I'll be watching with martini in hand.

[kat]

Just thought that you guys might want to hear my side of story instead of analyzing me through his hatred emails....It took me more than 1 hour to get to the museum as the weekend train schedule is pretty mess up, and I was trying to find the short cut to get there sooner but ended up hopping on the wrong train, not really familiar with the stops in Brooklyn. and of course I appoligized when I met him. I only used my cell phone once and I had to because it was a call from overseas that related to my business trip in a few days, I clearly appolized to him that I needed to take that call at that time(there's 12hrs time difference). He complimented my outfit the first time we met, and now he commented my taste in clothing. He even critized the movie he liked. Anyways, if I'm that dislikable like he described why was he so persistant in seeing me again?

[OhRick]

amen...

Back to Taiwan, was harsh. Language barrier, could have some validity. And "China Doll" is a compliment. Something, I perceived "Joe Blow" to, perhaps, see Kat as... since he was so smitten in his own disturbed way!

The dolls are porcelain collectibles, prized for their beauty and historical rarity. We have quite a few of them walking around Southern California. We have a lot of Ken & Barbies, as well. I've never heard a woman react negatively to that exaggerated image being applied to her?

That being said, I wouldn't call Malibu Barbie... Monkey! But, a pet name is a pet name.

Living life is much more rewarding then watching... Martini, or no!

..................................................................

Kat...

["Anyways, if I'm that dislikable like he described why was he so persistant in seeing me again?"]

First off... you're a female! Second... some men have a compulsive preference for Asian women. (Haven't you noticed?) And third... since we don't get to hear Joe Blows, rebbutal... we can only assume that he is, as we speculate... and he's testing how much abuse you'll take and still stay in touch?

Good luck!

[Drake Lang]

If you don't like the guy offer to pay half. That's only fair. Many women like to get free dinners then just dump the person like a paper napkin. Bit cold no?

The cell phone you apologized for.