Name: Girl whith a question | | Location: New York , NJ |Question: We dated for about 10 months and
then it ended. He told me he couldn't be in a relationship because of his kids. I broke up with him and then a month later is was dating someone new. I asked him WTF? and this was the response. (see below) Oh he sent me a message the night before will you be around to talk I said I would be home in am hour and he never called.
HE SAID:
I know that you will think this is shallow. I did want to talk to you last night and honestly fell asleep. I did care about you and our relationship and still care about you. I am trying to make a friendship work and can see your perspective that it might not be the case and may not want that between us.
Well here is the "conversation" that I wanted to have with you. I am sorry for how things ended between us. During the last several months that we were together, I was in a tail-spin. There were a lot of reasons for it. A good chunk of it was because I was depressed and drinking/smoking too much thinking that that would make things feel better. The bottom line was that it didn't. The only thing it did was affect my outlook on things. It affected my relationship with you and my relationship with my kids. I am an insecure person and always have been. My divorce and some of the circumstances involved had been laying dormant in my mind and I had been pushing it off in dealing with certain things. I am trying to do that now. I always had let my ex control how things went and that continued post divorce and I was depressed about letting it happen. The long and short of it was that it affected my relationship with you as I would not let you get close to me. I did value our relationship but I knew that I could never give you what you deserved and what you wanted out of a relationship so I kept pushing you away. I regret that I was not open to you about what was going on in my head because you deserved and do deserve an explanation as to what I was thinking about. I can't turn back the clock and try and make things right between us. You tried to make it work and I didn't because I couldn't be honest with myself and with you. In the back of my mind there were too many things holding me back. I know you feel that I moved on quickly or appeared to not care about what went on between us. That is not the case. I still care about you and hope that you will find someone that can give you what you deserve and what you are looking for. I am sorry I was not that person for you.
Believeable or not? I say NO!!! |Age: 29
I totally believe it. Why? Because most men typically aren't this self-aware and willing to be accountable. It's so atypical that it's believable to me that this guy finally regained some control and clarity in his life. You don't want to believe it because he didn't choose you. You're trying to find fault with him because he didn't choose you. This guy is pouring his heart out and really being accountable for how he handled things with you. This is a every woman's wet dream of an apology. I understand why you feel slighted and why you feel hurt but you've got to let this guy off the hook now. He screwed up and he's apologizing for it. Don't let your anger and bruised ego prevent you from being a mature adult and accepting his apology and moving on. It's okay to be hurt. But don't let your hurt and pain blind you to what this guy is really doing. He's acknowledging you and your feelings. That means that you are an important person to him. that you matter. Look at it from that angle. He could have totally blown you off and done what a lot of men do and just ignored you.
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